Communication

This post is about communication.  For some reason I get intrinsic satisfaction through stating the obvious.

Communication is essential to life of all forms, especially those pursuing happiness.  Which is most life forms.

Personally I believe that all of life’s problems (from relationship trouble to employment issues to war)  could be solved with effective communication.  Let me give an example of each: in a relationship, if both people involved communicated perfectly, they would know that their relationship would be successful or fall apart before it started due to their respective personality flaws and dedication, and would therefore be able to avoid any rough incidents.  Employers hiring people to work for them would know immediately if employees would profit the company or not if they communicated perfectly, allowing them to drastically reduce worker turnover and employer dissatisfaction.  Those who would otherwise fight wars would either work out the problem through effective communication or realize who would win said war and then work out a compromise.  In each case, perfect communication would save considerable emotional travail and lots of time.

Of course, perfect communication is impossible.  Sometimes, getting close is impossible.  Going back to our examples – how likely is someone to openly admit their flaws to someone they’re interested in?  What potential employee would intentionally discredit him or herself?  And what nation would unanimously and willingly secede without a fight despite the fact that they would probably gain nothing from a conflict?

Effective communication is difficult.  Often, this difficulty centers around honesty.  I know I often have a hard time being honest.  Not so much in my being fair to other people, but in letting people know what I think of them.  Sometimes this is good (if I don’t like them, they won’t be offended) but sometimes this is bad (if I appreciate a favor someone did and didn’t thank them, if I’m attracted to someone and don’t tell them).  Usually if I’m asked directly I’m more likely to be straightforward.  Additionally, if someone not involved in my opinion asks me a question (someone who I’m not judging) I’m even more likely to tell the truth.  If I am given a mask (I get to conceal my identity) then I am completely and brutally honest.

Unfortunately, each of these precautions that add to the truthfulness of communication detract from the effectiveness.  Better communication would be unsolicited, and both parties would know who the other was.

I’m sure many of those reading this could come to the same conclusion I have concerning communication after some thought, but it is important to remember these points when interacting with others.  If you think your honesty could benefit someone, do something about it.  Tell your family you love them.  Ask that boy or girl you like on a date.  Say thank you to that person that just did you a favor.

I realize I’m probably writing this to myself more than others because I’m rather introverted.  I tend to put excessive weight on everything I say, and therefore refrain from saying quite a lot. While other people throw around words like “love” and “beautiful,” I try to save them for special occasions.  This isn’t necessarily good, but it is an accurate description of my personality.  See?  Effective communication.  I’m working on spontaneously communicating with other people, but it’s difficult.

I do find that writing allows me to be more honest.  Because I don’t have to worry about constraining to a certain time limit, allowing others to speak, or finding the write word (yes, I’m just going to leave that there), I can say everything I want to say without interruption using vocabulary best suited to what I want to communicate.  Hence, this blog.  I’m also getting better at writing in my journal.

If you have any thoughts, please share.  Be honest.  If you’re unsure about commenting, be bold and comment.  I won’t judge you (I only say that because that’s what I think when I comment on other people’s blogs, so if you’re not unsure, just ignore these last few sentences).

–Brandon

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