Sometimes, I feel emotions that have nothing to do with my environment. I feel unconditionally and irrationally sad or happy or frustrated or afraid or excited. Like right now. I took three tests today, two of which were finals, and didn’t do spectacularly on any of them. Because I spent the day studying by myself, I hardly talked to anyone. I feel like I should feel super depressed and angsty, but I’m actually rather happy. I have no idea why.
I do find that two things can change my emotion (usually for the better) on a rather consistent basis. They can at least temporarily counteract this strange phenomenon I experience. Those two things are music and people.
Music almost always changes my emotion, especially if what I feel nearly matches what the song expresses. Even when it doesn’t, I still adjust to the song – happy, upbeat, fast paced songs will still make me feel excited and optimistic even when I am lethargic and melancholy. However, if I feel frustrated or hurt, songs that reflect selfishness and enduring through the pains of life have a much greater effect on me. Music rarely makes me feel bad about myself, though. Usually it makes me feel like I must be strong and brave to face all the pain and adversity I do in life, or else simply happy to be alive.
Other people can cheer me up too. If I spend time with others, especially friends, I can forget myself and instead be involved in their successes and problems. I think this is one of the reasons extroverts are usually happier than introverts – because they spend so much time with others they forget their own setbacks and therefore have a more cheerful attitude.
But there are times, like now, where it seems little can affect my emotion. All rational causes of what I might feel seem like they ought to make me break down or even cry, but instead I’m smiling. What is wrong with me?